Tag Archives: toilet

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Cooking would be so much more enjoyable if someone did it for me. ** No matter the question, duct tape is ALWAYS the answer. ** I’m apparently a “lame” fort builder. ** There are so many hot World Cup soccer players … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Next year, I really need some elves, dammit. ** My twins now have nicer phones than I do.  Thanks, Santa. ** Candlelight church services with kids make me ten kinds of nervous. ** If you wanna see a parade … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** If a day ever went by where a kid HADN’T peed on a toilet seat here, I’d swear I was in the wrong house. ** I seriously could not be more unorganized. ** Everybody needs a mental health day.  … Continue reading

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The Day My Daughter Spared WAY More Than A Square

You know you’re up a shit creek when your kid comes out of a public bathroom after ten LONG minutes and says, “Uh, can you come in here and help me, Mama?“  You might as well just take a deep … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** My world is just a series of pee splatters and poo. ** It’s a true challenge not to laugh when telling your eight year old how inappropriate it is to yell “cocks“. ** Throwing food can be liberatingly fun. … Continue reading

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The Bag of Poo

Sometimes kids can seriously do the sweetest little things.  They can draw you a picture, write you a note, or pick you a flower (even if it IS only a dandelion).  It’s the little things like these that make you … Continue reading

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Why Cleaning Is Bullshit

Recently, my husband and I decided to take a break from our regular cleaning ladies and do it ourselves in order to save some money.  (Well, ok, let’s be honest — MY HUSBAND decided, not me.  I’m not that nucking … Continue reading

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The Goatdog Diet

So y’all wanna know why we call him the goat dog, huh?  Well, considering that goats are known to eat basically anything and everything they can get their teeth on, and our dog tends to follow that same kind of … Continue reading

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The Sleepwalking Pisser

You know those days when you think, “Wow, things couldn’t possibly get worse” and then suddenly they do? Well, that pretty much summed up Monday for us here on the Nucking Futs homefront. Yes, it was just a series of … Continue reading

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Shit Happens

           You may recall that I’m not the greatest at relaxing.  And sadly, it takes a little old thing like surgery to allow me the chance to even try to take it easy.  You would think that … Continue reading

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