We Have A Winner!

So you may recall my temporary moment of insanity last week when I announced a giveaway contest in which one lucky winner would receive a $30 Target gift card and his/her choice of a Nucking Futs Mama t-shirt or hat.  To enter, participants were asked to answer the following question:

** IF YOU HAD TO PICK A HOLIDAY GIFT FOR ONE OF THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE, WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE HIM/HER & WHY? **
Mel Gibson, Dora the Explorer, or Snooki

Thank God I had the wherewithall to ask Lady of the House, aka @ieatmykidzsnack, and Sex and the Single Dad, aka @SxNSingleDad, to help me judge this thing cause damn, there were a SHIT-TON of awesome entries!  You people certainly have some choice words to say about Mel, Dora and Snooki!  I wouldn’t wanna piss any of you off before running into you in a dark alley on a random night.  Just sayin’….

Anyway, after a few technological glitches which brought me damn close to shoving my laptop down the garbage disposal, the judges and I finally decided on a favorite response.  So, now, I present to you, the winning response:

“I would buy Dora the Explorer a training bra, a copy of ‘Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret,’ and a tiny cartoon box of monkey-sized condoms.”

** Congratulations to Chrystal and your fantabulous noggin for coming up with such a hilarious submission!  You made us all very proud!  Three cheers for Chrystal, y’all! **

Thanks so much to everybody who participated in the contest.  It was so much fun reading your comments and getting a peak at the crazy-ass imaginations of my readers.  I’d totally buy you all presents and shit for playing along, but my kids want a damn trampoline for Christmas so, unfortunately, that kinda poo-poos that whole plan.  I still heart each and every one of you though if that means anything at all.  (Shhh — I know that gifts are WAY better, but humor me a little, won’t you?!)

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3 Responses to We Have A Winner!

  1. Chrystal says:

    Ohhh my goodness gracious, that is so awesome. :) there was some funny crap in there!!! Yay :) :)

  2. Lizzard72 says:

    Yay, that was a favorite! And yay for shit-ton!!!!

  3. SurferWife says:

    Congrats to the winner!

    I need to go back and read all of the entries now.

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