** My son has decided to respond to any and all questions with, “BOP!”
** If I want my kids to embarrass me, I just need to take ’em into a dressing room.
** My bras are apparently very entertaining.
** Goatdog has decided to rise with the sun. (Hello, 6 a.m. wake up calls!)
** Christmas needs to just slow the hell down.
** The Trader Joe’s free sample cart is a great place to serve lunch to your family.
** Leaf blowers smell like ass.
** Kanye should give lessons on how to throw the perfect temper tantrum.
** Full service gas stations actually still exist! Who knew?!
** A dog with a purple mohawk is some seriously funny shit.
** There’s more trash on t.v. nowadays than on the ground at Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
** Margarita time is way overdue.
** Kids don’t wanna play with their toys until you try to get rid of them.
** Rockin’ out in the car is good family fun.
** I’m definitely not winnin’ any awards for time management skills.
** Blake Shelton is not only cute but extremely funny.
** Always be prepared to immediately point the penis down when taking a kid to pee late at night.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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