The Nudey Pics

I gotta admit that I’m not a terribly modest person around my kids.  I just really don’t think it’s that big of a deal to be naked in front of them.  (Plus, what choice do I have when every damn time I take my clothes off, they suddenly appear out of nowhere?!)  That being said, though, I most certainly do NOT feel comfortable having my naked self photographed by my kids at any given time.  Like, ever.

So you can probably imagine my surprise then when I was stepping out of the shower last night to grab my towel and I saw a cellphone held by two little arms snapping a picture of me.  It seems that my children thought it would be hilarious to take nudey pics of their mama when she least expected it.  I, however, did not share that same sense of humor.  Call me crazy, but I just don’t think it would make for very good playdate conversation to whip out said phone and have their mom’s beaver on full display.  I immediately yelled my head off about the inappropriateness of their actions and grabbed the phone to delete all X-rated memorabilia.

And you wanna know who I blame for their little pornographic stunt?  Tyra!  Yes, I said Tyra, as in Banks.  While we were waiting for our car to be finished at the car wash Tuesday afternoon, the waiting room just so happened to have her damn talk show blaring as loud as could be on the topic of “Are You Normal About Nudity?“  And as hard as I tried, I could not block my kids from hearing her question audience members about whether they felt comfortable lying around nude after sex.  Seriously, where are the effin’ earmuffs when you need them?  Leave it to daytime t.v. to taint my kids’ ears.

Perhaps that little seed was then planted in their heads to further investigate Tyra’s topic in their own home.  God only knows.  What I am certain of, however, is that I need to be sure to hide all cell phones the next time I take a shower.  I REALLY don’t wanna end up on YouTube as the next “naked mama” sensation.

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16 Responses to The Nudey Pics

  1. Woody says:

    Tell your kids to send me back the $100 Toys’R'Us gift card please. Mission failed so they need to honor the agreement. What kind of kids are you raising that they can’t hold up their end of the bargain, yet they keep the bribe money?!? Nice parenting, Mom!

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      Haha! I can’t make any promises once money gets into their little hands, be it cash or gift card….. ;-)

  2. erin says:

    BWAHAHAHHAHAHHAH!
    the word “beaver” always makes me laugh. I suppose I’m slightly juvenile like that.

    My children are not yet able to manage photos. However, they did “decorate” their headboards on Monday with some nice black ballpoint pen. Nice , perviously WHITE headboards. Lovely.

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      Well wasn’t that sweet of your shorties to put their own personal tough on their headboards! Such thoughtful little things. My son once took it upon himself to decorate the white kitchen window frame with a red crayon — on Mother’s Day, no less. ;-)

  3. Lee says:

    OMG! Sounds like something my kids would do and probably have done, but since my brain doesn’t function, I have more than likely forgotten about them. So, if you see some naked pics of me floating around the internet, let me know!

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      If I see naked pics of you, I promise to delete them if you promise to do the same for me. Us girls have gotta stick together! ;-)

  4. Rob F. says:

    In “Old School” Vince Vaughn had his son trained to cover his ears every time Vince yelled “earmuffs”. Maybe you could try that; even if it didn’t work it would at least have some comedic value.

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      I LOVE that movie “Old School”! That earmuff line was exactly what I was thinking about when I wrote this post! :-)

  5. MamaBennie says:

    HAHAHAHAHA Note to self: Hide picture phone from 2 year old. She knows how to use it.

  6. jim says:

    @Woody What? They took money from you too. At least you did gift cards. I suspect my verbal handshake hand over of $100 cash leaves me hanging

  7. abm (divacakes4u) twitter says:

    Yeah… Boy Wonder and lil Dupree would do this NO doubt! But I have one better… Daddy would do this dumb crap and think it flattering to facebook it! Ok… Maybe not a nudey beaver shot… But def not one we would approve of!!! Grrrr

  8. Hilarious post. I can’t believe your kids tried this. Hopefully it was a one time thing.

    BTW, the title is slightly misleading. ;)

  9. Jorja White says:

    ok, i will comment on today, but i had to get my 2 cents in on this one! ha! my special needs daughter has done everything possible with my blackberry that she should not do…call 911 (repeatedly), erase contacts, call contacts (usually at around 6:00 a.m.), call clients, call my best friend’s ex-father-in-law and leave him a message, take photos of me and various other things…let’s just say that i have to be on high alert or she could sms my enemies with a photo of my beaver! it is scary as hell!

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