** I have amazing hand-eye coordination when it comes to catching puke.
** Twenty-two hours in a car can cause hallucinations.
** My son could very well be a rooster.
** Skinny jeans and yellow fudge cake ice cream do not go together.
** Kids lose their sense of hearing when on vacation.
** I am a freak magnet.
** My daughter has a stomach of steel, as was proven after eating yogurt from April of 2009.
** “Little Bee” by Chris Cleave is an amazing, can’t-put-it-down read.
** My last brain cell can still comprehend a whole book.
** Just because you’re wearing camouflage undies does not make it ok for you to drop trow in public. (Unfortunately, my son did not learn this lesson.)
** My husband needs to enter sandcastle rehab.
** Dentures really freak out kids. (A big thanks to the old couple at the pool for pointing this out.)
** Red velvet cake = total and complete mouthgasm.
** Church music should only be played in church. Just sayin.
** My children love to announce their bowel movements to anyone within ear shot.
** Every afternoon should involve margaritas.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.