Things I’ve Learned This Week


** My mind thinks I’m 21, but my body, not so much.

** There’s no such thing as tiptoeing back into reality after vacation.

** George Clooney apparently got tired of waiting for me.

** The sink in my kids’ bathroom looks like a damn science experiment.

** Sixth grade math makes me question my morals.

** If it doesn’t look edible, it’s probably not.

** I’m never quite as popular as I am when I sit down on the toilet.

** Some people should NEVER operate heavy machinery.  Drunk OR sober.

** I can’t create a proper french braid to save my freaking life.

** Laughing your face off should be a daily requirement.

** Political ads are about as believable as a used car salesman.

** Being sick is a serious inconvenience.  Especially when you’re a mom.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.


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