** Mother Nature seems to have Chicago and San Francisco confused.
** Every time I go to CVS, the receipt is longer than the Great Wall of China.
** Some of us just aren’t cut out for high heels. (Like me, for example.)
** Grown men apparently still bite each other. Who knew?!
** Showering just seems like sooooooooooooo much work.
** Putting your money where your mouth is, is not a good idea. Cause money is REALLY dirty.
** People who rarely smile scare me.
** You pretty much suck if you don’t tell someone when there’s a giant piece of crap stuck in his or her teeth.
** There’s at least a handful of jackasses in every crowd.
** My liver could really use a vacation.
** In my next life, I’m coming back as Betty White.
** I believe that we will win!!!!!!
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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