They Don’t Call It the Red Eye for Nothin’


If your husband tries to talk you into flying the red-eye with your kids at the end of a family vacation, don’t fall for it.  He may try to reassure you that your kids will sleep on the plane, and all will be fine.  But trust me, it will be anything but fine.  And the only person who will be sleeping on the plane will be your husband.

Yep, I’m the dummy that agreed to an overnight flight on our return from spring break. And because we didn’t have the luxury of sitting up in first class, we were stuck in the back like sardines.  (Seriously, could they cram those seats any closer together??!!)  The kids both naturally wanted to sit with me, so we sat all three in a row, while my husband sat across the aisle on his own.  (Anybody else smell bullshit here?)

After we’d been in the air for quite some time, I tried really hard to get my little squirmers to close their eyes and get some rest.  However, neither one could get anywhere close to comfortable, as they whined and complained and kicked each other in the process.  I’m sure the older couple in front of us were just thrilled with all the commotion.

When I finally got them calmed down enough to lay their heads in my lap and doze off, I was sweating bullets and needed to pee something fierce.  Unfortunately, though, I was stuck.  I wasn’t about to undo what I’d just worked so hard to do.  There was really no choice but for me to sit there in pain and practice my Kegels.

And wouldn’t you know that when I looked over to my husband for some sympathy, he was snoozing like a baby with his mouth wide open and a fresh drip of drool on his chin??!!  I wanted to take off my shoe and throw it at his peaceful-looking face.  But I was trapped, so I couldn’t.  Why is it that men can fall asleep through any and all catastrophes??!!

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5 Responses to They Don’t Call It the Red Eye for Nothin’

  1. nuckingfutspapa says:


  2. Leighann says:

    my husband says he can’t put our daughter to bed because he will fall asleep and doesn’t want to go to bed at 7:30…. bullshit

  3. Kat says:

    You definitely got shafted on that one! That man owes you a spa day or at least an afternoon of shopping without the kids 😉

  4. Jenn says:

    I am in the same situation. When the kids were babies, my husband would say, “Wow! The baby didn’t wake up last night!” Really?!? I got up 3 times!! Even today when I wake up due to a storm, a noise, a sick kid…he is lying in bed sleeping away. Not fair!

  5. Jenny F. says:

    I have the upper hand – with 3 kids, there’s no way he gets away without at least one!

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