** Snowblowers are the roosters of my neighborhood.
** Joe Namath is just a gold tooth and a hooker away from becoming a pimp.
** Insomnia is stalking me yet again.
** Goatdog REALLY wants to poop on grass again.
** It’s never too early to teach your kids how to gamble.
** I’d pretty much give my left arm for a mud room right about NOW.
** Too many people underestimate the creepiness of their facial hair.
** There’s nothing better than being with friends who make you laugh till your face hurts.
** Mothers who try to one-up other mothers deserve a high five. In the face.
** The car wash will surely charge me triple if I ever take my salt/snow/dirt-ridden SUV through there.
** I can’t remember the last time I was warm.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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