Things I’ve Learned This Week

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** Next year, I really need some elves, dammit.

** My twins now have nicer phones than I do.  Thanks, Santa.

** Candlelight church services with kids make me ten kinds of nervous.

** If you wanna see a parade of assholes, you should look no further than the mall parking lot in December.

** The Christmas tree’s so dead that it may spontaneously combust at any given moment.

** Trying to figure out what day of the week it is during the holidays is impossible.

** Watching two people who are unfamiliar with FaceTime try to FaceTime each other is both comedic and pathetic.

** The loud blare of a referee whistle in a tiny school gym is enough to make you wish you were deaf.

** Our trash collectors may very well be my new enemy after they see this week’s pick up.

** Flushing the toilet is apparently asking too much of these people in my house.

** The devil himself has possessed the smoke alarm in our basement.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

<< SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >> 

 

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2 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. stacy says:

    just yesterday i ended up flushing THREE toilets in my house going around cleaning bathrooms… umm we only have three & why a 10yr old & 6 yr old can’t flush after drives me to drink early in the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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