** Homework is making me wanna stick my head in the oven. On convection.
** My children are certainly not winning any awards for getting ready for bed quickly.
** I really don’t give a crap what the fox says.
** The dog has a longer attention span at family meetings than anyone else in this household.
** In the not-so-distant future, it’ll be a problem for my boy/girl twins to each have a friend sleep over on the same night.
** Jennifer Aniston cut off her hair. And apparently we’re supposed to care.
** My son evidently changed his contact name in my iPhone to “Awesomesauce“. Which I find AWESOME.
** Pigs are neater than the people who live with me.
** A “business trip” at a spa seems to be in order. For, you know, “business purposes“.
** I really wish dinner didn’t have to happen every freaking night.
** Pink eye scares the beejesus out of me.
** If the Halloween candy doesn’t “disappear” soon, my ass is gonna start beeping when I back up.
** My referee whistle’s about to blow itself out with all the bickering around here lately.
** Moms truly NEVER have a day off work.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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