** Daylight Savings is clearly one of Satan’s brilliant ideas.
** Me sitting on the toilet is evidently an open invitation for a party in the bathroom.
** The white crusty stuff around the top of the milk carton is seriously nasty.
** A bouquet of balloons always sounds like a good idea until you try to get them into the car.
** My son apparently now knows what “moobs” are. (That’d be “man boobs” for those who don’t.)
** Carnival Cruises should realize that their ship has clearly sailed. *ba-dump-bump*
** There’s nothing like an unexpected “I love you” note. Especially when it’s from your wee ones.
** Living in a fish bowl is just not for me.
** When you snore next to me at night, I can’t be responsible for what might happen to you.
** Any time I say it’s shower night, my kids act like I’m torturing them.
** “The Harlem Shake” on repeat is enough to make you go postal. Trust me on this.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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