** “Customer” and “service” are two words that, sadly, don’t belong together anymore.
** Static electricity is a very unfortunate side effect of Winter.
** The head of the CIA evidently forgot to CYA.
** Tired is for amateurs, and we’re WAY beyond that here.
** Caller ID has made prank calling people pretty much impossible. Dammit!
** The Halloween candy seriously needs to go. Like, yesterday.
** It’s amazing how you can spend a bazillion dollars at the grocery store, yet have nothing in your house to eat.
** I could really use a stunt double.
** The dog and my son do not, in fact, share the same name.
** Sadly, holiday rudeness has already taken over half the population.
** It’s the end of an era for Hostess Brands. RIP, Twinkies and Ding Dongs.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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