When I put my husband in charge of getting the kids somewhere, I can generally expect for at least a handful of important things to be completely forgotten. Try as he might, he just doesn’t run through any sort of mental checklist before he races out the door. In fact, he’s done this ever since the twins were little tiny babies, often leaving the house without so much as a diaper or a wipe to his name. So it was no surprise last week when both of my children went off to camp without their lunch boxes or water bottles on what was quite possibly the hottest day of the summer.
Since I had gone to bed the night before with a massive migraine, my other marital half had very kindly offered to get the kids off to tennis camp the next morning. And even though he rolled his eyes at me the entire time I went through the to-do list, I recited it to him anyway, knowing full well that he was only half listening to me. However, I felt it was my motherly duty to at least TELL him what needed to be done. And sure enough, when I finally arose from the dead, there were two voice mails from the camp director saying that both kids had come to camp with no lunch in hand.
Things only got worse from there. Annoyed as hell, I ventured down the stairs to find that Goatdog had evidently helped himself to both forgotten lunch bags. Lovely. Goldfish cracker crumbs were smashed all over the family room floor, and the sandwich bags that once held cheese bagels inside were now shredded to bits in the living room. There were also empty Chips Ahoy wrappers that proved that our pooch does indeed have a sweet tooth. Luckily, he did manage to leave the grapes untouched (since they are supposedly poisonous to dogs). However, something super yummy must have been at the bottom of my daughter’s bag, because the entire bottom was chewed out, leaving nothing but a gaping hole behind.
You can just imagine how thrilled I was with my husband for paying such close attention to my run-through of instructions. Clearly, they’d all gone in one ear and high-tailed it straight out the other. Typical, no? So, I guess the moral of the story really is that even when I’m not “technically” in charge, I still need to be “on” or else the shit’s gonna hit the fan….