Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The next time my kids PROMISE me they’ll stay in bed if I read just one more itty bitty chapter, I’ll know they’re totally full of shit.

** Screw Santa — MOMS are the ones who need elves!!!!

** No matter how many times I return it to the basement, an Australian boomerang keeps reappearing on my kitchen counter.

** The mall parking lot is a freaking war zone at holiday time.

** My kids have been “eating” their fruits and vegetables by hiding them in the dog crate.

** Goatdog evidently thinks he’s a bull since he charged right through the glass door on our house.

** For Christmas, I’ll be getting a new glass door.  Lucky me.

** Flights from New York to Chicago are never ever on time.

** Glasses are much more helpful if you remember to actually wear them.

** A nightly electronics confiscation is a must before tucking in the short people of our household.

** Workout sweat has become my new fragrance.

** Finding a working strand of lights among the stored holiday decorations is like winning the lottery.

** I’ve come up with a whole new word for tired, but I’m too tired to remember what it is.

** Finding a non-Christmas specific, non-religious game to play at a holiday classroom party is next to impossible.

** Despite what I might think (and I really questioned it this week), God does not give me more than I can handle.


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10 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. Kim says:

    Wow your bedtimes sound like mine here. I too will be getting something for Christmas I really don’t want. A new battery for my van. (Sigh) Hang in there your not alone. 🙂

  2. DolliN says:

    My plan of 31 days of joy this December has turned into 16 days of hell so far.

  3. Michele says:

    I love the glass door story….That’s too much.
    Can hardly wait to hear more about fruits and vegetables:-)

  4. patchas says:

    I honestly don’t know how I got here. You were listed on someone’s blog list, I think, and I loved the name so I had to check it out. I laughed out loud. Man, you are my kinda gal. Happy Holidays. I shall return 🙂

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      Well, however you found me, I’m so glad you did! I’m always happy to have new readers & to hear that I got you to giggle out loud? Well, that makes me happier than a pig in shit! Hope you come back for more of my nucking futty tales from the trenches of mamahood! 😉

  5. AndyinUtah says:

    After reading about your week, I now know why wine sales are way up! Thanks for sharing, love it!

  6. Ally says:

    A-GREED! Moms do need elves!!!

  7. Jo Chivers says:

    I learned it would be a hell of a lot easer to clean up the dog poop if I’d squeezed the dog into his slightly too small dog crate rather than let him roam free in the trunk of my car

  8. That picture is AWESOME!! I learned that I can stay up super late with a cold and do Christmas projects *or* I can workout with with a cold. However, I cannot do both. And working out lost out big time.

  9. John says:

    I remember, when I was in high school, I arranged a trip to the mall for holiday shopping with my church youth group. We did our thing, but I was finished a good hour before we agreed to meet back up, so I wandered the mall parking lot, holding a few bags, laughing at the fact that random people were following me.

    I wasn’t a very nice person sometimes.

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