** If you think they might spill it, they absolutely, most definitely will spill it.
** My blood is a molotov cocktail of Allegra, Singulair and Advil.
** It may feel like lice, but sometimes, it’s just dry scalp.
** Bangin’ your forehead on a granite countertop is not as exciting as it may sound.
** It’s a whole lot easier to read your watch if it’s right-side up.
** Rain makes even my alarm clock wanna sleep in late.
** Somebody is CLEARLY fast-forwarding the time that my children are in school during the day.
** I really really love a clean house (even if it only lasts for five minutes).
** Not even Calgon can take me away at this point.
** My kids just LOVE to have a giant meltdown when we’re running late for something (which is pretty much always).
** If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it might actually just be a drunken idiot.
** I’m evidently all out of Chill Pills, dammit!
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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