Don’t Forget To Tickle The Taco

I’m sure most of us have given our cell phones to our kids at some point or another to entertain them (i.e. shut them the hell up) while we run errands, right?  And really, the worst that can happen is that we end up with a gazillion kids’ game apps or an unexpected alarm going off at 3 AM (I speak from experience, y’all).  However, who woulda thunk that the REAL danger would lie in lending your phone to YOUR FRIEND’S HUSBAND during a wine-fueled dinner outing one evening?

This is, unfortunately, the very thing that happened to me back in the spring when I naively allowed my friend’s prankster hubby to borrow my iPhone.  I truly thought nothing of this seemingly inconsequential gesture until a few days later when I received my first warning that shenanigans had, in fact, taken place.  Yep, at precisely 9:15 AM on a random Tuesday morning, my phone began to very LOUDLY announce an “important” reminder to me.

And much to my sheer and utter horror, that “important” reminder was for me not to forget to “MASTERBATE WHEREVER“.  I’m sure you can just imagine how thrilled I was to read this little memo during a meeting with none other than my daughter’s second grade teacher.  I kid you not — I’ve never tried to sit on a piece of technology faster in my entire life.

And wouldn’t you know that my electronically-challenged brain couldn’t figure out how on earth to turn the damn alarm off for nearly a whole flippin’ month??!!  Yes, I was reminded to Shania-my-Twain everywhere from the grocery store, to the gym, to the library, and, surprisingly, even at church!  The insanity finally came to an end when I coyly asked my son how to turn off alarms on my phone without actually showing him the one particular alarm to which I was referring.  And naturally, he knew just how to do it.  (When all else fails, just ask the eight year old.)  So I guess the moral of the story is to never lend your phone to your friend’s inebriated husband and, of course, not to forget to tickle the taco.

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9 Responses to Don’t Forget To Tickle The Taco

  1. That is the best thing EVER. So funny. I think I, too, love your husband. LMAO

  2. Oh crap – I just re-read that – ok, your friend’s husband. hahaha

  3. burghbaby says:

    “Tickle the taco” has me cracking the heck up. Repeatedly.

  4. sarah says:

    LOL. I am that friend but only on my husbands phone when he is out in the field with all his army buddies. I am sure turning 6 shades of red since he is a bit more prude than I am. While I sit at home and think about the expression on his face. Then I get the scolding message of thanks and laugh even harder since the major shut the alarm off becasue he was in the shower.

  5. Mihael says:

    Funny thing is, “Tickle the Taco” was the original tag line that was ultimately rejected by Taco Bell in favor or “Make a Run for the Boarder”.

    Great story.

  6. Thatissuch says:

    Please post a warning not to read this if you are eating or drinking. I have to clean my screen now.

  7. Ally says:

    So funny – because of course, it was happening to someone else. Love Sarah’s comment up there – can you imagine? LOL

  8. Marta says:

    Love it. I’ve never heard the expression “tickle the taco” before but I’m totally putting it in my repertoire.

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