Tag Archives: weather

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Winter is officially “over” — and I’ll believe it when I see it. ** The Tooth Fairy’s gonna have to start leaving IOU’s if my twins don’t go to bed earlier at night. ** Just because you have a … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Whoever sent the Polar Vortex an invitation to return is in need of a good ass kicking. ** If I wanted to live in Antarctica, I would’ve moved to Antarctica. ** My lips might very well just chap right off … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The weatherman seems to be telling us all to go back to our warm beds until April. ** It would be AWESOME if I was the octopus my children seem to think I am. ** When you tell your husband … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The first week of back-to-school mornings are nuttier than squirrel poop. ** Nobody appreciates bedtime more than a parent. ** Mom guilt sucker punches me on a daily basis. ** But, hey, at least my daughter’s not twerking on … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Cramps and mammograms are just two of the many perks (*ahem*)  of being a woman. ** I’d rather be a wrinkled mess than pull out an iron. ** Kids and husbands have very selective hearing. ** Getting in bed … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Spilled wine is WAY worse than spilled milk. ** The DMV is truly a vast sea of weirdness. ** Turning 29 again wasn’t so bad after all. ** We evidently need to start lining up in two’s to board … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Shoveling snow by hand should be followed by a massage.  And possibly a lobotomy. ** The past several days have been like tantric sex.  Minus the sex part. ** If I ever need a good giggle, I turn to … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** If it’s not written down, it most definitely WILL be forgotten. ** Every day should be Pajama Day. ** Apparently no Super Bowl ads are gonna be new when the Super Bowl actually airs.  WTF?! ** Contrary to popular … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along.  I knew it!!!! ** December is one giant money suck. ** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually … Continue reading

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iPhone Overload

My kids are driving me absolutely CUCKOO-KACHOO with all the friggin’ apps they continue to want for the iPhone.  Every day it’s something new.  My damn phone now has over 8,764 different games on it!  WTF?!  Ok, so maybe that’s … Continue reading

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