Tag Archives: weather

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Finding evidence of sleep around here is like finding a dinosaur bone. ** If you know whether you’re coming or going, you’re a lot better off than me. ** My warm climate-dwelling friends may find me knocking on their … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I’m not sure what’s disappearing faster around here — my money or our iPhone chargers. ** When one of your son’s best friends has pink eye, YOUR eyes immediately start to itch like a mofo. ** The stupidity of … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Winter is officially “over” — and I’ll believe it when I see it. ** The Tooth Fairy’s gonna have to start leaving IOU’s if my twins don’t go to bed earlier at night. ** Just because you have a … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Whoever sent the Polar Vortex an invitation to return is in need of a good ass kicking. ** If I wanted to live in Antarctica, I would’ve moved to Antarctica. ** My lips might very well just chap right off … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The weatherman seems to be telling us all to go back to our warm beds until April. ** It would be AWESOME if I was the octopus my children seem to think I am. ** When you tell your husband … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The first week of back-to-school mornings are nuttier than squirrel poop. ** Nobody appreciates bedtime more than a parent. ** Mom guilt sucker punches me on a daily basis. ** But, hey, at least my daughter’s not twerking on … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Cramps and mammograms are just two of the many perks (*ahem*)  of being a woman. ** I’d rather be a wrinkled mess than pull out an iron. ** Kids and husbands have very selective hearing. ** Getting in bed … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Spilled wine is WAY worse than spilled milk. ** The DMV is truly a vast sea of weirdness. ** Turning 29 again wasn’t so bad after all. ** We evidently need to start lining up in two’s to board … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Shoveling snow by hand should be followed by a massage.  And possibly a lobotomy. ** The past several days have been like tantric sex.  Minus the sex part. ** If I ever need a good giggle, I turn to … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** If it’s not written down, it most definitely WILL be forgotten. ** Every day should be Pajama Day. ** Apparently no Super Bowl ads are gonna be new when the Super Bowl actually airs.  WTF?! ** Contrary to popular … Continue reading

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