Tag Archives: vacation

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** My mind thinks I’m 21, but my body, not so much. ** There’s no such thing as tiptoeing back into reality after vacation. ** George Clooney apparently got tired of waiting for me. ** The sink in my kids’ … Continue reading

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The Banana Boat Ride

As a parent, I’ve often found myself doing things that I wouldn’t dream of doing on my own free will —  cleaning poop off a wall, catching puke with my bare hands, dining at a germ-infested Chuck E. Cheese.  But … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Mother Nature seems to have Chicago and San Francisco confused. ** Every time I go to CVS, the receipt is longer than the Great Wall of China. ** Some of us just aren’t cut out for high heels.  (Like … Continue reading

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Wedding Crasher Fail

Ever since I saw the crazy fun that Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson had crashing all those weddings on the big screen, I’ve been dying to try it.  And this past weekend, I finally got my long-awaited chance!  However, I wasn’t … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Jet lag is not really the vacation souvenir I had in mind. ** Even the eyes in the back of my head have bags underneath them. ** Just because there’s a bandwagon does not mean you have to jump … Continue reading

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They Don’t Call It the Red Eye for Nothin’

If your husband tries to talk you into flying the red-eye with your kids at the end of a family vacation, don’t fall for it.  He may try to reassure you that your kids will sleep on the plane, and … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I’m not good at getting lucky. ** Child labor is more expensive than it used to be. ** A little piece of me dies every time people “REPLY ALL” to a group email. ** I could buy my kids 10,000 … Continue reading

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A Polar Vortex Punch of Reality

Coming back from a family vacation is never a fun thing.  The packing, the travel, the crabby kids — they all add up to one giant pain in the ass.  It pretty much makes you forget that you were even … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Trying to get my kids to organize their rooms is like trying to get a dog to scoop his own poop. ** I wish somebody would jump to make me dinner whenever I say I’m hungry. ** Every time I go … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

  ** Family trips are flat-out EXHAUSTING. ** It takes 11 years to unpack 11 days worth of luggage. ** Reality’s a bitch, especially when it sucker punches you. ** I’m pretty much drowning in important dates to remember. ** … Continue reading

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