Tag Archives: snow

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I wish my brain shut off as easily when I try to go to sleep as it does when I try to help my kids with their homework. ** Exhaustion is just NOT a good look on me. ** Dioramas are … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** If I held my breath for a big Valentine’s Day surprise, I’d surely end up dead. ** A pre-shower naked dance is evidently becoming a nightly ritual around here. ** Yoga is like church for the body and the … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Snowblowers are the roosters of my neighborhood. ** Joe Namath is just a gold tooth and a hooker away from becoming a pimp. ** Insomnia is stalking me yet again. ** Goatdog REALLY wants to poop on grass again. … Continue reading

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A Polar Vortex Punch of Reality

Coming back from a family vacation is never a fun thing.  The packing, the travel, the crabby kids — they all add up to one giant pain in the ass.  It pretty much makes you forget that you were even … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I most certainly did NOT inherit my mom’s hair-braiding skills. ** Apparently, Gap Kids sells husky-sized skinny jeans.  Anybody else confused? ** Winter can kiss my lily-white patootie. ** However, the thought of the approaching swimsuit season scares the … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Shoveling snow by hand should be followed by a massage.  And possibly a lobotomy. ** The past several days have been like tantric sex.  Minus the sex part. ** If I ever need a good giggle, I turn to … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Santa needs to be A LOT more organized next year. ** I may never see my son again now that Wii U is hooked up in the basement. ** Goatdog REALLY likes to open presents.  Especially ones that don’t … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** ‘Tis the season to be an asshole.  Apparently. ** I am not the Energizer Bunny. ** The Elf on the Shelf might very well be my nemesis. ** Anything that’s lost is very likely at the bottom of my … Continue reading

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The Magic of the First Snowfall

As much as I loathe winter weather, there truly is something magical about the first snow of the season.  Those white flakes falling gracefully from the sky always bring an unexpected peacefulness in my otherwise chaotic world.  And being able … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Skinny celebrities who say they get their cardio by “chasing their kids around” are more full of shit than my backyard. ** I don’t have a few new leaves to turn over — I have a whole damn PILE. … Continue reading

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