Tag Archives: smoke alarm

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** There’s no place like home.  (Even if it IS a giant wreck of a mess.) ** My kids actually DO sorta kinda miss me when I’m not around.  Who knew?! ** Someone needs to murder the smoke alarm in … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Whoever sent the Polar Vortex an invitation to return is in need of a good ass kicking. ** If I wanted to live in Antarctica, I would’ve moved to Antarctica. ** My lips might very well just chap right off … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Next year, I really need some elves, dammit. ** My twins now have nicer phones than I do.  Thanks, Santa. ** Candlelight church services with kids make me ten kinds of nervous. ** If you wanna see a parade … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to myself.  *itch*  *scratch* *sniff* ** Erectile dysfunction commercials make me really uncomfortable. ** School supply kits should come with Advil and wine so parents can deal with all the homework meltdowns. ** Only … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** A lovely Valentine’s morning can quickly turn to a red and pink poop storm when you’re a parent. ** If the smell of your own morning breath is making you gag, you know it’s time to brush those pearly … Continue reading

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