Tag Archives: shower

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The reinforcements are apparently not showing up any time soon. ** If I had a dollar for every time I’ve answered the “Why do I HAVE to take a shower?” question, I’d be one rich bitch. ** My husband’s so … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass what Ryan Lochte would do. ** Diarrhea of the mouth is a dangerous thing. ** If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re doing something wrong. ** I can rest easy now that … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along.  I knew it!!!! ** December is one giant money suck. ** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** It should totally count as a workout if you run around like crazy all day (especially if you’re dressed in full workout gear). ** I could come home with a purple mohawk, and no one in my family would … Continue reading

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Maybe My Parents Knew What They Were Doing

Remember when you were growing up and you said you’d never ever do to your own children the things your parents did to you?  Perhaps it was a vow you made to yourself in the midst of snot and tears … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** If I’m still gonna get zits like I did when I was 16, then I want my ass to look like it did when I was 16. ** I could never ever live in a cave. ** Being the … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Men with the last name of Weiner really do like to take pictures of their junk. ** It’s time to do laundry when you’re trying to talk your second grader into going commando. ** My son evidently wrote a … Continue reading

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Bathing in Madness

Bath time at my house continues to be two steps shy of a birthday party at the loony bin. There’s screaming, there’s singing, there’s dancing, and there’s general madness all around. I often don’t know whether to laugh or to … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Shoelaces are bullshit. ** I should put my pillow in my car because I pretty much live there. ** Two seven year olds are apparently VERY capable of setting up a ten foot ladder when you’re not looking. ** … Continue reading

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Another Awkward Moment

Two things to note before you read this post:  1).  I do not believe in getting help unloading my groceries into the car.  2).  I am not a fan of hugging complete strangers.  Put both of these things together, and … Continue reading

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