Tag Archives: Santa

Is the Jig REALLY Up?

Remember that story a few weeks ago when we lost the mother fucking Elf on the Shelf, and I was all panicked that it might be the last Christmas for believing in Santa in my household?  Well, it saddens me … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** These people are driving me nuts. And by people, I mean my family. ** Holiday shoppers are complete assholes. ** My to-do list is evidently not gonna write itself. ** It’s also not going to do itself either. ** … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The next time my kids PROMISE me they’ll stay in bed if I read just one more itty bitty chapter, I’ll know they’re totally full of shit. ** Screw Santa — MOMS are the ones who need elves!!!! ** … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Skid marks can suck it. ** If you can drive five REALLY loud eight-year-old girls without wrecking the car, you can do just about anything. ** I think I’m gonna make it easier on myself and just give everyone … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

—————————————————————————————————– ** There’s no calling in sick when you’re a mom. ** Antibiotics and my stomach are soooooo not BFF’s. ** Kids are ten times louder when you tell them you have a headache. ** The dirty clothes hampers in … Continue reading

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Twas the Nucking Futty Night Before Christmas (Re-post)

Some of you may remember this post from a few years ago, and some of you may be reading it for the first time.  Whatever the case, it was my own nucking futty spin on the classic tale of The … Continue reading

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Hide & Go Elf

It seems that most people I know have an Elf on the Shelf these days.  You know, the little red-and-white-clad guy who hangs out at your house during the whole month of December, flying back to the North Pole to … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** T.H.O. season has officially arrived. ** Lost and Found bins make me wanna scrub myself with acid. ** Santa’s gonna have to start turnin’ tricks to pay for all the shit on the Christmas lists this year. ** No … Continue reading

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The Fugly Sweater

     Following in the footsteps of our non-traditional Thanksgiving, our Christmas this year was also a very alternative one.  We went over to our same friends’ house who hosted us for turkey day for some good old festive fun. … Continue reading

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Twas the Nucking Futty Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through our pad, Every creature was stirring, being exceptionally bad. The stockings were hung too close to the floor, And Goatdog was eating each one that he tore. The twins were bouncing off … Continue reading

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