Tag Archives: motherhood

When to Fold ‘Em

Ever have one of those days where every-freaking-thing seems to go wrong?  And no matter what you try to do, it all just turns to crap?  (If you haven’t, then it’s safe to say that I kinda hate you, but … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** EVERY day should be Mother’s Day.  Because obviously. ** Donald Sterling makes me feel a whole lot better about the bags under my eyes. ** You know you’re in for a shit storm when your dog eats five squares … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I constantly feel like I’m forgetting to do something. ** And most likely, I am. ** In my next life, I’m coming back as a weatherman. ** Whoever decided that baseball pants should be white clearly didn’t do their … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The world needs more creative photobombers. ** If you drive like Mario Andretti through a parking lot full of kids, you’re a giant jackass. ** Winter is apparently going to last until next winter. ** An unidentifiable smell in … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Goatdog likes wine, which makes total sense since he is my dog. ** If it’s not written down, it’s not getting done. ** It’s obviously some kind of rule that kid puke must be projectile and occur at an … Continue reading

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Happy Birthday to Me

Cue the red carpet, marching band, and fireworks, y’all, cause today is my birthday! Yippee!  But let’s be real here, people — I’m a mom, and we all know what that means. I’ll be schlepping screaming kids from Point A … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Jet lag is not really the vacation souvenir I had in mind. ** Even the eyes in the back of my head have bags underneath them. ** Just because there’s a bandwagon does not mean you have to jump … Continue reading

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They Don’t Call It the Red Eye for Nothin’

If your husband tries to talk you into flying the red-eye with your kids at the end of a family vacation, don’t fall for it.  He may try to reassure you that your kids will sleep on the plane, and … Continue reading

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The Grocery Store: Gathering Place for Jackholes

Going to the grocery store is definitely not my idea of a good time.  Sure it’s nice when your kids are FINALLY old enough that you don’t have to drag them with you every time you need to run out … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Winter is officially “over” — and I’ll believe it when I see it. ** The Tooth Fairy’s gonna have to start leaving IOU’s if my twins don’t go to bed earlier at night. ** Just because you have a … Continue reading

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