Tag Archives: mail

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** If my kids overflow one more toilet around here, they’re getting an outhouse for Christmas. ** I could really use an elf. ** Getting Christmas cards in the mail is so much better than getting bills in the mail. … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Goatdog likes wine, which makes total sense since he is my dog. ** If it’s not written down, it’s not getting done. ** It’s obviously some kind of rule that kid puke must be projectile and occur at an … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** My son isn’t afraid to run a song straight into the ground. ** Neither time nor cheese is on my side. ** If answering questions was a high-paying job, I’d be rolling in the benjamins. ** I feel naked without … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** All I want for Christmas is a personal chef.  And a bigger bank account to pay for the personal chef. ** Those inflatable lawn Santas look so sad and hungover during the daytime. ** A sick kid at home … Continue reading

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The Postal Pain in the Ass

You would think that as a postal carrier, you’d understand that your job will no doubt require you to come into contact with dogs at some point in time, right?  I mean, isn’t there even an age-old joke about the … Continue reading

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Reality Bites

           Ever feel like you’ve been chewed up and spit out by a garbage disposal?  Or sucker-punched by that crazy son of a bitch Mike Tyson?  Or knocked around all over the place like a damn hockey … Continue reading

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