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Tag Archives: iPhone
** My son likes to make his penis talk. (Don’t ask.) ** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town. ** My kids wait to take a dump until it’s time to walk out the … Continue reading →
** Skid marks can suck it. ** If you can drive five REALLY loud eight-year-old girls without wrecking the car, you can do just about anything. ** I think I’m gonna make it easier on myself and just give everyone … Continue reading →
** Mother Nature forgot to take her meds once again. ** People who only write inspirational quotes for their Facebook status scare me. ** If you’re a random piece of crap, you’re probably sitting on my kitchen counter. ** Everything … Continue reading →
I’m sure most of us have given our cell phones to our kids at some point or another to entertain them (i.e. shut them the hell up) while we run errands, right? And really, the worst that can happen is … Continue reading →
** If it’s breakable, there’s a damn good chance that I’m gonna drop it. ** The autocorrect on my iPhone clearly does not know me by now. ** Kim Kardashian’s engagement ring is almost as big as her ass. ** … Continue reading →
** “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” is one crazy train that I can’t help but wanna ride. ** Supervising homework time without wine is like having oral surgery without Novocaine. ** I now know how to spell “Novocaine“. ** … Continue reading →
** Somebody really needs to start handing out happy pills, dammit! ** My kids think my boobs make better pillows than Daddy’s. ** Dressing room mirrors are as cruel as Joan Rivers on the red carpet. ** I wouldn’t sit … Continue reading →