Tag Archives: insomnia

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I might be a bit biased, but I’m pretty sure if I was in sixth grade, I’d wanna be friends with my kids. ** Apparently the floor is the best place to hang coats and towels. ** Garage sales … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** There’s nothing like having your kids barge into your bathroom and present you with a Valentine while you’re standing there buck naked. ** I’d be better off shaving my legs with a chain saw than a brand new Lady … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** If my kids overflow one more toilet around here, they’re getting an outhouse for Christmas. ** I could really use an elf. ** Getting Christmas cards in the mail is so much better than getting bills in the mail. … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Winter is officially “over” — and I’ll believe it when I see it. ** The Tooth Fairy’s gonna have to start leaving IOU’s if my twins don’t go to bed earlier at night. ** Just because you have a … Continue reading

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The Perks of Being a Mom

It’s no secret that parenting is hands-down one of THE hardest jobs on the planet.  There are days when you love it and days when you want to turn in your notice and walk right out the door.  The pay … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I wish my brain shut off as easily when I try to go to sleep as it does when I try to help my kids with their homework. ** Exhaustion is just NOT a good look on me. ** Dioramas are … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Snowblowers are the roosters of my neighborhood. ** Joe Namath is just a gold tooth and a hooker away from becoming a pimp. ** Insomnia is stalking me yet again. ** Goatdog REALLY wants to poop on grass again. … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I might very well be the most unorganized person on the earth. ** Bite-sized candies can kiss (but not stick to) my ass. ** The only person who hates homework more than my son is me. ** Kids can … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I don’t know where I am or what I’m supposed to be doing. ** Insomnia wants to be my BFF. ** My kids have mentally checked out for the summer, which will make the last week of homework oh … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** My kids find dirt faster than a junkie finds smack. ** Movie popcorn always seems like a good idea at the time. ** A jackhammer at a Metallica concert would be quieter than some of the carpools I’ve driven. … Continue reading

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