Tag Archives: gym

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Whoever sent the Polar Vortex an invitation to return is in need of a good ass kicking. ** If I wanted to live in Antarctica, I would’ve moved to Antarctica. ** My lips might very well just chap right off … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Supervising a chain gang would be more enjoyable than supervising homework. ** The world needs a whole lot more Tina Fey & Amy Poehler. ** My toes are really missing the ol’ flip flops. ** Trusting my son to … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Next year, I really need some elves, dammit. ** My twins now have nicer phones than I do.  Thanks, Santa. ** Candlelight church services with kids make me ten kinds of nervous. ** If you wanna see a parade … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Trying to get my kids to organize their rooms is like trying to get a dog to scoop his own poop. ** I wish somebody would jump to make me dinner whenever I say I’m hungry. ** Every time I go … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** When people say, “Good morning!“, I’m not quite sure how they assume that it’s good. ** The government REALLY needs to get over its giant temper tantrum. ** Just because it’s good hold music doesn’t mean that it has … Continue reading

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To Blush or Not to Blush

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my many embarrassing moments.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been on a whirlwind backyard barbecue tour that’s involved more than my fair share of wine-induced oopsy daisies.  It’s definitely made me realize that I’ve just always … Continue reading

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What Kind Of Friend Are You?

To me, a good friend is someone who isn’t afraid to call you out when you look like a complete idiot.  I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be told that I’ve got a huge chunk of spinach … Continue reading

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Dr. Nucking Futs

I swear I should have been a psychiatrist or some kind of therapist or something.  People are always spilling their beans to me, whether I want them to or not.  However, I don’t even know how to deal with my … Continue reading

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The Fredgie

           I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’ve all had a wedgie at some point in time, right? They’re a total pain in the ass (sometimes literally), and they typically occur at very inopportune times. … Continue reading

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Gym Freaks

           When I go to the gym, I am there for one reason and one reason only — to work out.  I’m not there to socialize or pick up dudes or strut my stuff. My mind is … Continue reading

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