Tag Archives: germs

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** This time of the year makes me so very grateful for my beloved hot glue gun. ** I may steal the dog crate from the dog — it just looks so darn PRIVATE in there. ** Judging by his wardrobe choices, … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

    ——————————————————————————————————–   ** Cancer is a giant, life-stealing asshole. ** Pushing a grocery cart through a slushy parking lot is both a good arm workout & a true test of one’s patience. ** Multiple days of school closings … Continue reading

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Sick Husband = Big Baby

I don’t know how it is in your household, but in mine, there’s a WORLD of difference between when I get sick and when my husband gets sick.  We’re talking night and day contrast, people.  You see, he turns into … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I totally know how Jack Torrance felt.  Cabin fever can suck it. ** Only 25% of the pee in this house actually makes it into the bowl (and that 25% belongs to ME!) ** My referee whistle needs to … Continue reading

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Germs Be Gone!!!!!!

You see these little germy bastards right here? These little bastards have totally invaded my home over the past couple of weeks.  First it was my husband, then my daughter, then me, and then my daughter once again.  And for … Continue reading

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The Water Park Souvenir

If you’ve ever wondered where all the germs go to party, I’m pretty sure I figured out their favorite stomping ground.  Just visit any given water park, and you’ll surely find a whole gaggle of germ dudes and germ dudettes … Continue reading

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The Lost & Found Bin (Where Germs Go To Party)

I’m sure that most of you will agree that nothing says “Gag me” quite like a dig through the old Lost & Found bin.  You just never really know what the hell you’re gonna come across in there, which is … Continue reading

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Shoppin’ with the Shorties

Any time I have to drag my kids to the grocery store with me, I know it ain’t gonna be pretty and that I’m gonna need a stiff drink afterwards.  It takes fifty times longer than it should, somebody’s either … Continue reading

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Things I've Learned This Week

** Nobody ever rings our doorbell until I’m in the shower. ** Satan himself climbed on our roof and dropped a big germ turd down our chimney. ** Cabin fever can make you have deep, meaningful conversations with your ceiling … Continue reading

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Chuck E. Cheese Pandemonium

     You’ve probably heard about all the recent violence that’s occurred at various Chuck E. Cheese’s throughout the country, right?  Adults are fighting, kids are fighting, and people are just generally making complete asses of themselves all in the … Continue reading

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