Tag Archives: elves

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The next time my kids PROMISE me they’ll stay in bed if I read just one more itty bitty chapter, I’ll know they’re totally full of shit. ** Screw Santa — MOMS are the ones who need elves!!!! ** … Continue reading

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Hide & Go Elf

It seems that most people I know have an Elf on the Shelf these days.  You know, the little red-and-white-clad guy who hangs out at your house during the whole month of December, flying back to the North Pole to … Continue reading

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Twas the Nucking Futty Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through our pad, Every creature was stirring, being exceptionally bad. The stockings were hung too close to the floor, And Goatdog was eating each one that he tore. The twins were bouncing off … Continue reading

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Stretching the Holiday Truth

     I swear I feel like half the crap I try to feed my kids while I’m doing this parenting gig comes right back to bite me in the ass.  And with Christmas and all its many, many far-fetched … Continue reading

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