Tag Archives: Elf on the Shelf

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along.  I knew it!!!! ** December is one giant money suck. ** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** ‘Tis the season to be an asshole.  Apparently. ** I am not the Energizer Bunny. ** The Elf on the Shelf might very well be my nemesis. ** Anything that’s lost is very likely at the bottom of my … Continue reading

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Tooth Fairy Fail

If I could take myself into a dark alley and kick my own ass, I totally would cause I seriously dropped the parenting ball the other night (once again).  Yes, I completely failed my duty as the Tooth Fairy, y’all.  … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Skid marks can suck it. ** If you can drive five REALLY loud eight-year-old girls without wrecking the car, you can do just about anything. ** I think I’m gonna make it easier on myself and just give everyone … Continue reading

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Where The Eff Are You, Clyde?

WARNING: ** Look away if you don’t like an occasional f-bomb every now and then.  Cause in this case?  It just couldn’t be helped.  (Sorry, Mom and Dad….) ** Every year our “Elf on the Shelf” tradition brings me a … Continue reading

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Hide & Go Elf

It seems that most people I know have an Elf on the Shelf these days.  You know, the little red-and-white-clad guy who hangs out at your house during the whole month of December, flying back to the North Pole to … Continue reading

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