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Tag Archives: cookies
** I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass what Ryan Lochte would do. ** Diarrhea of the mouth is a dangerous thing. ** If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re doing something wrong. ** I can rest easy now that … Continue reading →
** Shoveling snow by hand should be followed by a massage. And possibly a lobotomy. ** The past several days have been like tantric sex. Minus the sex part. ** If I ever need a good giggle, I turn to … Continue reading →
** All I want for Christmas is a personal chef. And a bigger bank account to pay for the personal chef. ** Those inflatable lawn Santas look so sad and hungover during the daytime. ** A sick kid at home … Continue reading →
** Once again, I have no desire to go out and get all crazy on New Year’s Eve. (I’d rather do it the night BEFORE New Year’s Eve.) ** Christmas cookies seriously kicked my ass this year. ** Trying to … Continue reading →
Remember that story a few weeks ago when we lost the mother fucking Elf on the Shelf, and I was all panicked that it might be the last Christmas for believing in Santa in my household? Well, it saddens me … Continue reading →