Tag Archives: cookies

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass what Ryan Lochte would do. ** Diarrhea of the mouth is a dangerous thing. ** If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re doing something wrong. ** I can rest easy now that … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Shoveling snow by hand should be followed by a massage.  And possibly a lobotomy. ** The past several days have been like tantric sex.  Minus the sex part. ** If I ever need a good giggle, I turn to … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** All I want for Christmas is a personal chef.  And a bigger bank account to pay for the personal chef. ** Those inflatable lawn Santas look so sad and hungover during the daytime. ** A sick kid at home … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Once again, I have no desire to go out and get all crazy on New Year’s Eve.  (I’d rather do it the night BEFORE New Year’s Eve.) ** Christmas cookies seriously kicked my ass this year. ** Trying to … Continue reading

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Is the Jig REALLY Up?

Remember that story a few weeks ago when we lost the mother fucking Elf on the Shelf, and I was all panicked that it might be the last Christmas for believing in Santa in my household?  Well, it saddens me … Continue reading

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Picky Picky

     My son is quite possibly the world’s pickiest eater.  He has always been a challenge when it comes to food, but I swear he decides on more and more things he dislikes the older he gets.  The menu … Continue reading

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