Tag Archives: Christmas

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** ‘Tis the season to feel like a walking ATM. ** If you’re a fan of torturing yourself, I highly recommend going to the mall two weekends before Christmas. ** We need to bring nap time back (for me, not … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** If my kids overflow one more toilet around here, they’re getting an outhouse for Christmas. ** I could really use an elf. ** Getting Christmas cards in the mail is so much better than getting bills in the mail. … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I’m not sure what’s disappearing faster around here — my money or our iPhone chargers. ** When one of your son’s best friends has pink eye, YOUR eyes immediately start to itch like a mofo. ** The stupidity of … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** It’s evidently mating season for a-holes. ** If I never go to the U.S. Post Office again, it’ll be too soon. ** Summer needs to just tap the brakes. ** Rip Van Winkle’s got nothing on my husband. ** … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Next year, I really need some elves, dammit. ** My twins now have nicer phones than I do.  Thanks, Santa. ** Candlelight church services with kids make me ten kinds of nervous. ** If you wanna see a parade … Continue reading

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‘Twas the Nucking Futty Night Before Christmas (Re-posted)

Some of you may remember this post from a few years ago, and some of you may be reading it for the first time.  Whatever the case, it was my own nucking futty spin on the classic tale of “The … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Whoever declared the recorder a “musical” instrument was obviously deaf. ** The UPS man has left more on my porch lately than the squirrels have. ** Slow drivers should really just stay the hell out of all the holiday … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The weatherman seems to be telling us all to go back to our warm beds until April. ** It would be AWESOME if I was the octopus my children seem to think I am. ** When you tell your husband … Continue reading

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HOLY Berries!!!

I originally posted this a few years ago, but it’s definitely one that I like to pull out of the vault again at holiday time.  Cause it’s about liquor.  And who DOESN’T need a cup of cheerful something or other … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Trying to get my kids to organize their rooms is like trying to get a dog to scoop his own poop. ** I wish somebody would jump to make me dinner whenever I say I’m hungry. ** Every time I go … Continue reading

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