Tag Archives: carpool

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Cramps and mammograms are just two of the many perks (*ahem*)  of being a woman. ** I’d rather be a wrinkled mess than pull out an iron. ** Kids and husbands have very selective hearing. ** Getting in bed … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** ‘Tis the season to be an asshole.  Apparently. ** I am not the Energizer Bunny. ** The Elf on the Shelf might very well be my nemesis. ** Anything that’s lost is very likely at the bottom of my … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** My kids find dirt faster than a junkie finds smack. ** Movie popcorn always seems like a good idea at the time. ** A jackhammer at a Metallica concert would be quieter than some of the carpools I’ve driven. … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Just so we’re clear, I will still drink the wine if a fruit fly lands in my glass. ** The end of the school year is when all the crap that’s been shoved into a tiny desk for nine … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Year (A Recap of the Best of 2011)

** My son likes to make his penis talk.  (Don’t ask.) ** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town. ** My kids wait to take a dump until it’s time to walk out the … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Skid marks can suck it. ** If you can drive five REALLY loud eight-year-old girls without wrecking the car, you can do just about anything. ** I think I’m gonna make it easier on myself and just give everyone … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Recovery time from the weekend is much much longer than it used to be. ** I should just hand out money to trick-or-treaters as much as candy costs these days. ** School pick up in the rain is about … Continue reading

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What If I Threw The Tantrum For A Change?

I don’t know about you, but sometimes, I can’t help but laugh my buns off when my kids are throwing an all-out fit.  They just look so incredibly ridiculous to me as they’re wailing and screaming and flailing themselves about … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Someone should come up with a Beano for brain farts. ** Motherhood is no place for migraines. ** Our water bill’s gonna be $10,000 this month, thanks to my son’s obsession with the hose. ** Nothing, and I do … Continue reading

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What the Hell Was I Thinking???

I hate to admit it, but my husband was actually right.  (Did pigs just fly?)  He tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen to him.  I thought that being the MOM, I knew what was what.  I was convinced … Continue reading

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