Tag Archives: bedtime

Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The first week of back-to-school mornings are nuttier than squirrel poop. ** Nobody appreciates bedtime more than a parent. ** Mom guilt sucker punches me on a daily basis. ** But, hey, at least my daughter’s not twerking on … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** School REALLY needs to start.  Cause my patience has left the building. ** The smell of an amusement park is a compilation of B.O., grease, and ass. ** I’m not buying what Lindsay Lohan is selling. ** Kids only … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The reinforcements are apparently not showing up any time soon. ** If I had a dollar for every time I’ve answered the “Why do I HAVE to take a shower?” question, I’d be one rich bitch. ** My husband’s so … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Mother’s Day should really be Mother’s Weekend. ** My brain is on MAJOR end-of-the-school-year overload. ** Warm weather just makes ya wanna eat ice cream.  (Or is that just me?) ** Some people should really reconsider making sex tapes. … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Shamrock Shakes are 600+ calories of awesomeness. ** “Quiet” is most definitely NOT a word I’d use to describe my house. ** My son has apparently given up sleep for Lent.  Lucky me. ** Sometimes when people say they … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Much to my surprise, the New Year’s Day puker turned out to be neither my husband nor me, but rather, my daughter. ** There’s just never enough sleep to go around. ** An overnight getaway would be cheaper than … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along.  I knew it!!!! ** December is one giant money suck. ** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually … Continue reading

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Tooth Fairy Fail

If I could take myself into a dark alley and kick my own ass, I totally would cause I seriously dropped the parenting ball the other night (once again).  Yes, I completely failed my duty as the Tooth Fairy, y’all.  … Continue reading

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The Magic of the First Snowfall

As much as I loathe winter weather, there truly is something magical about the first snow of the season.  Those white flakes falling gracefully from the sky always bring an unexpected peacefulness in my otherwise chaotic world.  And being able … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

** The clothes get a whole lot cleaner when you actually push the START button on the washing machine. ** If I had a dollar for every time my house is quiet, I still wouldn’t have any money in my … Continue reading

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