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Tag Archives: alarm clock
** The weatherman seems to be telling us all to go back to our warm beds until April. ** It would be AWESOME if I was the octopus my children seem to think I am. ** When you tell your husband … Continue reading →
** Octomom doing porn is the same as an old man doing naked jumping jacks — NOBODY wants to see that shit!!!!! ** Hearing your kids tell you that you’re beautiful is one of the greatest perks of parenting. ** … Continue reading →
** It should totally count as a workout if you run around like crazy all day (especially if you’re dressed in full workout gear). ** I could come home with a purple mohawk, and no one in my family would … Continue reading →
** If you think they might spill it, they absolutely, most definitely will spill it. ** My blood is a molotov cocktail of Allegra, Singulair and Advil. ** It may feel like lice, but sometimes, it’s just dry scalp. ** … Continue reading →
** I don’t do pumpkin guts. ** Retail stores are more than ready to shove Christmas down our throats. ** My son does everything but EAT during lunch time. ** Being on time is totally overrated. ** Sesame Pretzel Crisps … Continue reading →
** I don’t know where or when I’m supposed to be anywhere anymore. ** My brain needs a personal assistant. ** These kids cost A LOT of damn money. ** I need to start doing a helluva lot more squats … Continue reading →
** I REALLY need to look where I step in this house, especially when barefoot. ** The dog thinks he’s a trash compactor. ** I need to hide my dark chocolate from the babysitters. ** Video games are apparently more … Continue reading →