Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Organization is not my middle name.

** My son has gone to the dark side (or at the very least the goofy side).

** A salad just isn’t a salad without an avocado.

** Having your line rodded is not as exciting as it may seem.

** I will never be Martha Stewart.

** Half days of school are bullshit.

** Poop talk is unfortunately the primary language spoken in my household.

** Shrinky Dinks really do shrink. Who knew?!

** I am never where I’m supposed to be at anywhere close to the right time.

** Giveaways make me giddy!  (Have you entered mine yet?)

** Getting my kids to agree on something is like getting a politician to tell the truth.

** I think I’m in love with someone named Chocolate Cheerios.

** The males in my house would no doubt forget their balls if they weren’t attached to their bodies.

** I am not a big fan of strange men pissing in my toilets.

** People apparently get all heated about silly, insignificant things like pink toenails on a little boy.

** I’ve shelled out more money lately than a damn ATM.

** We have a basement FULL of toys, yet my kids claim to have “nothing to do.”

** The angels sing “Hallelujah” when I open up a bottle of wine.

** Mother Nature forgot to take her bipolar medication.

** Bedtime evidently equals party time.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.


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8 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. I am SO with you on the angels singing.

    I’ve learned that repeating yourself does absolutely no good, and that ALL neighbors have a little cuckoo crazy in them despite how normal they may seem

  2. Leah says:

    I learned that the end of the school year is expensive. Geez.

  3. heidi says:

    You had a hell of a week, didn’t ya? Good grief.

    I learned that my daughter loves me even is she thinks I dress like a moron.

  4. Kimberly says:

    I have learned that psychiatrists can be very thorough caregivers if you choose the right one.

  5. John says:

    You’re right, a salad needs avocado to be a real salad. And craisins. And bleu cheese. And walnuts. And feta.

  6. Suzan says:

    Just discovered Chocolate Cheerios myself. They are amazing!

  7. Julia says:

    I will never ever again vacuum the car carpet in April, because April Showers brings kids with muddy boots.

  8. Patty says:

    I can so relate to all your stuff, it is awesome! Parent of twins myself and even before that with my six year old. Just waiting for them to go to bed, so that I can, haha!

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