Why is it that phone companies make you feel like you’re joining a friggin’ cult when you sign up for one of their jackass plans? It’s as if they expect you to give up your first-born child and gnaw off your own damn leg in order to switch to another company. And forget about getting an actual live human being that has even a fraction of a brain if, God forbid, you try to call them up to question anything. You might as well just succumb to the fact that your boobs and/or balls will be sagging to your knees while your pubic hair turns gray during the MULTIPLE hours that you’ll inevitably be stuck waiting on hold.
This is precisely what we’ve been dealing with during our five-day battle with the a-holes at AT&T. What happened was that my husband inquired with another company about switching plans but then decided against it after running the numbers. And apparently, that company went ahead and ordered a disconnect service with AT&T who precisely shut off both our internet AND phone service on Saturday. And let me just tell ya that the Nucking Futs Clan does NOT do the pioneer thing very well.
My husband and I each took our individual turns trying to rectify the situation, only to be transferred from one yahoo to another. And not only were these people COMPLETELY useless in the helping department, but they also spoke as if they were cramming massive wads of cotton balls into their mouths. I’m not sure if there’s a single soul on this earth who could actually identify the “words” coming out of their yappers. There’s really only so much jerking around a person can take before f-bombs start to rise to the surface of the throat. And after you keep a girl on hold for nearly NINETY freakin’ minutes, and then try to proposition her to buy even more of your shitty services??? Well, that’s just asking for a beat-down, now isn’t it?
So here we are, five days later, and we STILL have no internet service in our home. My husband and I should probably start popping blood pressure medication for all the boiling that’s been going on in our veins. I’m quite certain that we will promptly be switching our services to another provider, and preferably one who doesn’t keep its head up its ass. Oh, and we’re also saving up all of Goatdog’s piles of shit to compile a care package for the fine folks at AT&T. It’s only fair that we thank them for all their assistance, don’t ya think????