If you’ve been riding my crazy train for any length of time, you know by now that I’m a big fan of making lists. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m accomplishing something just by creating them. So, in the spirit of making personal progress, here’s another list that I’ve been putting together about THINGS THAT ARE BULLSHIT:
** Playing Christmas music the day after Halloween.
** Phones that don’t have caller id.
** Postal carriers who expect a holiday “gift” when they can’t even put my damn mail in the box.
** Elementary school-aged kids who wanna stay up later than their parents.
** Trees that don’t grow money.
** Stores who send me coupons AFTER I just spent a shit-ton of money there.
** Not getting paid to do manual labor all day every day.
** Diet ladies telling you to take one bite of a Christmas cookie and to then put it away.
** Cars who park right on friggin’ top of you in the parking lot.
** Wrapping a mountain of presents while my husband sits on the couch and snores.
** Mothers who tell you they love EVERYTHING about parenting.
** Daylight Savings Time — HELLO! We’re not all farmers, ya know!
** Thin toilet paper — sorry, but my ass is WAY more precious than that.
** Automatic flushers that slosh water all over you.
** Celebrities who get books published simply because they’re famous (yes, you, Paris Hilton.)
** Chicks who say they stay in great shape simply by “chasing their kids around.”
** Dog owners who don’t take the time to scoop the poo.
** Socks that slip down in your boots when you walk.
** Squirrels. You know why.
** Prescriptions that aren’t ready even though you called them in a day ago.
** Those “Your Baby Can Read” commercials — give me a freaking break, “Dr.” Robert Titzer.
** Having only 24 hours in a day.
** Racing around like a mad woman so much that I don’t even get to appreciate the holiday season.
CARE TO ADD TO MY BS LIST??? WELL, THEN, LEAVE A COMMENT, PEOPLE!