Many of you have probably heard of or even read the Flat Stanley book series for children. It’s about a boy who’s flattened one night by a bulletin board hanging over his bed. He learns that he can suddenly fit into an envelope and even mail himself all over the world. The funny little storyline has proven to be a great way for elementary school teachers to incorporate letter writing into their classrooms, as well as to teach students about different geographical locations. I don’t think, however, that Flat Stanley was ever meant to teach young impressionable minds about the awesomeness of Hooters girls.
So my daughter’s second grade classroom was given an assignment to mail Flat Stanley to a friend or family member from another state and to ask that person to pose with Stanley at different locations that distinguish his/her state. That person was then supposed to return Stanley along with the pictures to the teacher who would later present them to the class. The goal was for the class to have a whole compilation of really cool places in which Flat Stanley had traveled.
My daughter chose to send her Stanley to my mother-in-law in Florida. Unfortunately, I hadn’t really read the assignment very clearly when we addressed the envelope, so when my mother-in-law asked for further explanation about what exactly she was supposed to do, I couldn’t really elaborate too much. She asked if sending postcards and newspaper clippings would be sufficient enough, and I basically told her “Yeah, sure, whatever.” In other words, I kinda just blew it off (obviously a total parent fail on my part).
When my daughter received her grandma’s letter back from her teacher this week, she was super stoked. It was sent home for me to read as well, and let me just tell you that I nearly fell over laughing when I pulled out the contents of that envelope. My mother-in-law had sent clippings from her local newspaper showing different scenes about town, and one of them showed three fishermen posing with their big catch alongside a couple of HOOTERS GIRLS! Yes, freakin’ HOOTERS GIRLS! AND they were wearing super skimpy bikinis! Talk about a holy shit moment!
To my mother-in-law’s defense, I honestly don’t think she read the description below the picture that stated that these were Hooters girls. I’m pretty sure she was just focusing on the big fish the guys were holding. Whatever the case, I felt it my duty to do damage control by emailing my daughter’s teacher to explain the little faux pas. Thankfully, she thought it was quite funny as well. And I’m pretty sure the whole ordeal pleased Flat Stanley too. Just look at him — he can’t seem to get that damn grin off his flat face…..