The Hug Contract

One of the absolute greatest parts of parenting is being able to walk hand in hand with one or both of my kids.  To me, the only thing that comes even close to that amazing of a feeling is when I get an unexpected hug from one of them out of the complete blue.  I guess you could say it helps to make up for all those other times when I want to jam hot coals in my eyes and duct tape them to their kitchen chairs.  And as awesome as it is to have them by my side, I know the time is coming all too quickly when they will want absolutely nothing to do with me whatsoever.

I remember when I was so mortified to be seen with my own parents that I would have them drop me off all the way around the corner so that none of my friends would see that I did, in fact, just exit a silver station wagon being driven by my beaming dad.  And God forbid either of them ever try to put an arm around me or blow me a kiss.  I would rather have been tortured by a pack of rabid raccoons than be subjected to any kind of public displays of parental affection.

And now that I am a parent myself, I cannot even imagine how agonizing that must have been for them.  Sure it happened little by little, but it had to be like a knife slowly being shoved right into your gut.  My mom always says that it absolutely broke her heart the day that I stopped holding her hand in public.  I guess she knew deep down that it was the beginning of the end of my childhood innocence.  And sure enough, I gradually transformed into this horrific teenage creature who spent far too much time telling them how much they sucked.  How lovely to have your insides ripped out bringing this person into the world who is now embarrassed to even be in your presence.

So, in order to avoid this whole heart-wrenching experience, I’ve decided to make my shorties sign a legal-binding contract written up by a legitimate attorney promising that they will ALWAYS hold my hand and hug me.  Failure to do so will result in consequences of some kind or another.  Sure it’s not the most warm and fuzzy way to get some human contact from my offspring, but hey, sometimes a mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do.  And these kids are gonna love me whether they want to or not, dag nammit!

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11 Responses to The Hug Contract

  1. Ann Marie says:

    Enjoy it now! It is heartbreaking to have 2 girls, 12 & 13 roll their eyes at you and think you’re an idiotic goon. My 9 yo son is on the verge, but still likes me.

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      See, that’s what I’m sooooo dreading. How does your heart not just hurt all the time? Parenting is so unbelievably painful sometimes, isn’t it?

  2. Troy Newhouse says:

    My 12yo daughter say to me all the time “stop embarrassing me dad”. Two years ago she would have laughed at me now she runs away from me. My 9yo son thinks I’m the coolest still.

  3. hubman says:

    If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you might know that I left home for a 10 week business trip a few days ago.

    I’ve been doing fine.

    Until I read this post. Now I’m really missing hugs and kisses from my kids….

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      Wow! 10 weeks is a long time — I can’t imagine how hard that must be! I’m so sorry if I made you miss them more! Your reunion with them will be all the more sweeter cause absence makes the heart grow fonder, ya know! Hang in there!

  4. Awesome I need to do this….my 12 1/2 year old is already acting like I have the coddies or something in front of his friends!

  5. Michele says:

    My question then is when do they START holding your hand? My daughter’s almost two and she acts like I’m hurting her when I try and hold her hand. She’d rather walk by herself. And if I really try she sits down. Perhaps it’s my future, or it’s just a phase. Either way, I say yes to the contract idea! I need one for every aspect of parenting. The contract itself will probably end up longer than my as-yet-to-be-completed novel, but then I’ll feel like I accomplished something as a mother.

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      Trust me, wait until she’s 4 — that was by far my favorite age! They are so sweet & just love being w/you. Hang in there — it’ll come to you! 😉

  6. Barnmaven says:

    At the pool yesterday my son kept taking me by the hand and asking me to walk around the shallow part with him. He was just so overjoyed to have his sister swimming in the deep end and his mom to himself. I feel so…I don’t know, special – magical – powerful when my children think that I’m the neatest person ever. Its an incredible happy emotional jumble. I too dread the day that they no longer want me to be seen within 10 feet of them. When they no longer fit on my lap for a cuddle (or want to be on my lap for a cuddle). Its got to be the hardest part of motherhood, the letting go.

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      I saw a dead baby bird who’d either been pushed from its nest or just wasn’t quite ready to fly yet, and would you believe that I actually got a lump in my throat??!! I just can’t imagine when my kids are ready to “leave the nest”. That “letting go” part that you mentioned has got to be the biggest challenge of all. I absolutely dread it. 🙁

  7. Jasmine says:

    I have my kids convinced that hugs are my “anti-crazy medicine” & they will do anything to keep me from being crazy.

    Love the contract idea. Good luck on getting them to sign it.

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