I wish every day could be Mother’s Day so my kids would behave and give me cute drawings that tell me they love me all day long. They were literally bursting at the seams to FINALLY be able to give me their “All About Mom” books they’d made for me in school. The first page was a portrait of me that, while sweet, left me a little disappointed at just how unattractive I apparently look to them. Check out my ORANGE bedhead hair and freakishly short legs in my daughter’s drawing. Supposedly, I’m the chick in the purple “tank top”:
And then there’s my son’s drawing of me in which he proclaimed that I have blond hair (it’s actually brown) and blue eyes (also brown). It seems I also have snowman arms and a REALLY long torso. He was thorough enough to include a height chart to show that I’m “about five feet tall“:
I also received love “coupons,” good for things like “a hug” and “a kiss,” and I even accidentally got another kid’s coupon from my daughter’s class that’s good for a “window cleaning,” which I’m totally planning on cashing in. I mean, I’m sure her mom won’t mind, right? My favorite thing I learned yesterday by far was that my son said his mom loves him because “she gives me a quarter if I eat my whole sandwich“. Yep, I wrote the book on parenting, alright.