There was a point in time when I wondered if I’d EVER become a mom. I prayed about it, I cried about it, and on April 19, 2003, I FINALLY got my wish. I can hardly even believe it, but my babies made their grand entrance to this crazy world seven years ago today. True to form, though, the stubborn little shorties had to be practically forced out of me, whether they liked it or not.
When a VERY pregnant woman is carrying not one but TWO babies in her massive torpedo belly and decides that it’s time for them to get the hell outta dodge, well, it’s best just to agree with every freaking thing she says and go along with the program. But when I started labor pains two days prior to my twins’ actual birthday, things were not really working according to my plans. My husband rushed me over to the hospital when my contractions were five minutes apart, only to be told that I wasn’t dilated enough. The nurse actually had the nerve to suggest that I waddle my Humpty Dumpty ass down the halls to try to kickstart things along a little more. I walked those damn hospital halls all friggin’ night long and about spit fire out my mouth when they sent me home at 6:00 the next morning to wait it out. If my husband would’ve let me steamroll the yahoo that discharged me, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat.
Nevertheless, though, I went home, bound and determined to get those kids out of me, somehow, someway. So, I dragged my husband out on a VERY long-winded walk throughout the neighborhood, and sure enough, my water broke thirty minutes after we got home. (Like I said earlier, you don’t mess with a determined mama of multiples!) We went back to the hospital, and eighteen pain-filled hours later, my world got a whole lot nucking futtier. We went from a family of two to a family of four just like that.
And seven years later, I could not be more proud to be the mama of such amazing kids. My daughter constantly amazes me with her kindness and ability to say “please” and “thank you” without even the slightest reminder, and my son blows me away when he holds doors open for complete strangers out in public. There’s not a day that goes by when they don’t make me laugh out loud or smile to myself. Sure they make me want to pull my arm hairs out one by one at times, but overall, I wouldn’t trade a single second with these incredible little beings. Happy 7th birthday to the two coolest people on the planet!!!!