Every Halloween our neighborhood has a tradition of “BOO”ing people. This is basically the same thing as “Ding Dong Ditch,” only with candy. If you get “BOO”d, you’re supposed to tape a little paper ghost to your front door, so that people will know that your house has already been hit. It’s then your responsibility to “BOO” two other houses on the block without getting caught. Seems like an easy enough concept, but when you’re six, being inconspicuous is like sneaking an elephant into the movies.
My kids were so excited when we got “BOO”d the other night, and they couldn’t wait to “BOO” someone else. So, last night, I promised them we’d go hit up some houses after dark. We stuffed two bags with candy and set out with our flashlights. Most of the houses already had ghosts on their doors, so the pickins were pretty slim. When we finally found a house that hadn’t been hit, we had fight off another little neighborhood girl for it. She was armed with candy and ready to “BOO.” However, I wanted to get the whole thing over with, so I whispered to my daughter to run. I knew she could totally beat that chick up their front steps, and she proved me right once again. When she got up to their porch, she lingered just a little too long after she rang the doorbell, and the dad came bounding through the door and caught her red-handed. She was so bummed that she almost broke down in tears, but I quickly moved the process along by locating the only other house on our street that hadn’t been hit.
I stood back and watched my two little prankster-wannabes creep up to the front porch and carefully place the bag of candy on the doorstep. They rang the bell and ran like hell down the steps. I thought for sure one of them was gonna bust their head open trying to remain unseen, but luckily no blood was shed. My kids watched with excitement as the woman opened her door and took the bag of candy inside. Mission accomplished. One down and one to go! My kids were totally pumped up and ready to strike again.
Since we’d run out of houses on our street, we decided to try their little friend who lives around the corner. Apparently, they don’t “BOO” people on his street because none of the houses had ghosts on their doors, which turned out to be a real problem. My daughter decided to have a go at his house first. She crept up the steps and immediately ducked down and called for me. I guess the entire family was hanging out in the family room and could see the front porch as plain as day. I told her just to go for it. She rang the bell and ran like the wind down to meet my son and me in the bushes. We could see the dad looking out the window, but then he disappeared. My son then decided to take a stab at it. The dad came to the window once again but still didn’t open the door. I figured the third time would surely be a charm, so my daughter tried one more time.
We were nervously waiting in the bushes to see if they were ever going to answer the damn door, when we saw the whole family peering out the window to see who was out there in the darkness. Then, suddenly the dad came around from the back of the house shouting over and over in a very angry voice, “Who’s there?!” Oh shit! I realized that if I didn’t say something, they were gonna call the cops on us. I could just imagine the headline in the paper, “Nucking Futs Suburban Mom Arrested in Bushes for Voyeurism.” I quickly stepped out of the bushes and identified myself to the dad, who ended up laughing hysterically at the whole turn of events. He said he actually did contemplate calling the police. Like I said, they don’t “BOO” on his street.
I was so relieved to have the “BOO”ing behind us when we finally got home. It’s a cute idea that the kids love, but it’s also a pain in the ass when you have two kids who don’t have a clue how to be sneaky. The excitement factor’s definitely taken down a notch if you happen to get caught. And it’s all fun and games till someone goes to jail.