** Short weeks make you feel like every day is Friday.
** They also make you angry to find out that every day is not, in fact, Friday.
** I’ve totally forgotten what the sun even looks like.
** Apparently I’m an asshole because I served my kids ice cream that was “too cold“.
** Being fired never felt so good — especially when it’s from helping your daughter with her math homework.
** This making of the dinner thing every single night has gotten WAY out of control.
** You actually CAN freezer-burn your own skin. Who knew?
** My son is completely oblivious to when he’s outgrown a pair of his pants.
** The Colts have bigger balls than the Patriots.
** “Good night, sleep tight” evidently translates to “Get up and ask for a snack in 5 minutes”.
** The door to our pantry should be a revolving one. Obviously.
** I really should’ve joined the geese and flown south for the winter.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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