** “Take a nap” keeps getting bumped off my to-do list for some reason.
** My family is an all-you-can-eat buffet for the multiplying mosquitoes in our neighborhood.
** If my kids had horns (and I’m not quite sure that they don’t), they would literally be bulls in a china shop.
** The “loungewear chic” trend for fall is perfect for the lazy slob in me.
** Homework and meltdowns go hand in hand, for kids AND for parents.
** After packing lunches every single flipping day, Saturday and Sunday really need to be Make Your Own Damn Lunch Day.
** Unfortunately, I will never have the moves like Jagger.
** Kids always wait to tell you they’ve outgrown their shoes until a toe’s about to peekaboo its way through.
** Somebody needs to design a clothing line for tween girls that falls somewhere in between babyish and hookerish.
** My kids act like it’s been 50 years since their last meal whenever they get home from school.
** America is seriously over-obsessed with booties.
** Colder temps may be ready for me, but I am soooooo not ready for colder temps.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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