** EVERY day should be Mother’s Day. Because obviously.
** Donald Sterling makes me feel a whole lot better about the bags under my eyes.
** You know you’re in for a shit storm when your dog eats five squares of Ex-lax.
** I’m totally counting all my recent coughing fits as ab workouts.
** The days of the family dinner are, sadly, more long gone than my memory.
** It’s a bad idea to piss off Beyonce’s sister. Especially in an elevator.
** “Mommy’s not feeling well” is evidently the equivalent of “Make lots and lots of REALLY loud noise“.
** The fanciest thing I’ve done lately is get an allergy shot.
** Deodorant needs to introduce itself to many of the people in my world.
** Turning crappy into happy seems like a pretty good motto for life.
** I continue to spend WAY more of my time in my car than I do in my bed.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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