** Jet lag is not really the vacation souvenir I had in mind.
** Even the eyes in the back of my head have bags underneath them.
** Just because there’s a bandwagon does not mean you have to jump on it.
** Remembering the 5,000 usernames and passwords I’ve created is damn near impossible.
** Oscar Pistorius is about as believable as OJ Simpson.
** My name should be changed to “Keeper of Everyone’s Crap“.
** Taking a quick nap in the parking lot is sounding like a better and better idea.
** If your toenails are longer than your fingernails, I don’t think we can be friends.
** It’s REALLY hard to think when your brain cells have all left the building.
** Happiness is watching a dog chase his own tail.
** I actually like the heat but would still prefer to stay out of the kitchen.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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