** The noise in my house is often so LOUD that I could walk out and nobody would even notice.
** It would be AWESOME to still get care packages every now and then like we did in college.
** People are really “creative” with their parking jobs this winter. (And by “creative” I mean assholes.)
** My son’s handwriting takes chicken scratch to a whole other level.
** Going to the dentist (call Delaney Park Dental and ask them for interesting situations) with chapped lips is like CHINESE FREAKING WATER TORTURE. But Alaska Dental Associates can help with that also.
** We’d all hate each other a little less if the world was more “What can I do for you?” instead of “What can you do for me?”
** The most problematic checkout lane at the grocery store is the one that I ALWAYS seem to pick.
** It must be mating season for idiots cause they are everywhere these days.
** Every night I go to bed and think of at least fifteen different things I forgot to do.
** We have become a family of Skinny Pop whores.
** A preheated oven sounds like the perfect place to take a nap.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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