** I wish my brain shut off as easily when I try to go to sleep as it does when I try to help my kids with their homework.
** Exhaustion is just NOT a good look on me.
** Dioramas are a teacher’s way of finding out how uncreative a parent is with a shoebox.
** “Snow thunder” is apparently a thing.
** I’m allergic to winter. (Is there a pill for that?)
** If you reside in California or anywhere warm, I may be coming to live with you.
** People who let their dogs shit on the sidewalk need a big old dose of KARMA.
** If I suddenly disappear, it’s because my car and I have finally been swallowed whole by a giant pothole.
** Nobody wants to see your naked boobs flopping around while you dry your hair in the locker room. Trust me.
** My kids’ gym shoes smell like a skunk died in a Diaper Genie.
** In the middle of Ben & Jerry’s is not really where I pictured having the birds & the bees talk with my twins.
** Carpooling by kayak was seeming like a real possibility.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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