Things I’ve Learned This Week


** I wish my brain shut off as easily when I try to go to sleep as it does when I try to help my kids with their homework.

** Exhaustion is just NOT a good look on me.

** Dioramas are a teacher’s way of finding out how uncreative a parent is with a shoebox.

** “Snow thunder” is apparently a thing.

** I’m allergic to winter.  (Is there a pill for that?)

** If you reside in California or anywhere warm, I may be coming to live with you.

** People who let their dogs shit on the sidewalk need a big old dose of KARMA.

** If I suddenly disappear, it’s because my car and I have finally been swallowed whole by a giant pothole.

** Nobody wants to see your naked boobs flopping around while you dry your hair in the locker room.  Trust me.

** My kids’ gym shoes smell like a skunk died in a Diaper Genie.

** In the middle of Ben & Jerry’s is not really where I pictured having the birds & the bees talk with my twins.

** Carpooling by kayak was seeming like a real possibility.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.


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